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Let It Go

Jacob had a dilemma. Years earlier, he had lost his favourite son Joseph and had never gotten over the loss. But he had to move on and live his life, which he tried to do. Then a famine came. He sent his sons to buy food from Egypt but they returned with horrible news. Not only had the Egyptian prime minister suspected then of being spies, he had also seized Simeon their brother and declared that he would only believe their claims of innocence if they came back with their youngest brother, Benjamin.

Of course, Jacob wasn’t going to allow that. His favourite wife Rachael had only borne two sons- Joseph and Benjamin. Rachael was dead, Joseph was dead. He’d rather die than lose Benjamin too.

But as the days wore on, he watched the food which his children and grandchildren ate diminish slowly and he wondered how long he could hold on. Would he hold everyone’s stomachs ransom because he did not want another broken heart? He had lost a wife and two children- but would the rest starve because of his fear?

His heart began to melt and his resolve cracked. Yes, Benjamin might not return from Egypt, and yes, if it happened, he might die of sorrow. But he was ready to lose Benjamin if it meant the others would live. He finally got to the point where he could say, “if it must be so, then do this…and if I am bereaved of my children, then I am bereaved.” (Genesis 43:14)

It was only when he got to that point that everything turned around for his good. It was only when he could let Benjamin die that he gained everything- Joseph, Simeon, Benjamin, food and the riches and wealth of Egypt.



Sometimes you have to let go not because it is pleasant but because it is necessary. It is when you can say, like Esther “if I perish, I perish” that you actually begin to live. Jacob let go of Benjamin not because it was pleasant, but because it was necessary for others to have life. When you can kill your darlings; your Isaacs and your Benjamins, then you receive life in abundance. When you are ready to carry your cross, to lose your life for Christ’s sake, then you will gain it all. But till you learn to sacrifice, lose, suffer and die, you will remain alone, small and never truly satisfied.


Amen



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